2013高考英语书面表达讲义及训练（21）及参考范文：如何写出英语作文得分的“亮点”
以前,英语作文评分的依据是根据要点和语言准确度而定。但是从2001年起实行的高考评分标准强调了内容要点,语言的多样性、连贯性和得体性, 鼓励学生尝试语言表达的多样化和复杂化。因此要写成一篇较有水准的英语作文,除了要点和语言准确度以外,还必须在语用、语法结构以及表达的多样性和灵活性上有所表现。句子单一、缺乏生气的文章,哪怕没有任何错误也不可能得高分,相反,"有些许错误,但是为了使用较复杂结构或较高级词汇所致",给分档次仍在最高档(21-25分)。
那么,英语作文如何才能得高分呢?以下几种手段是增加句子复杂性的常见方法,也是得高分的"亮点"。
1. 改变句子的开头方式,不是一味地都是主语开头,接着是谓语、宾语,最后再加一个状语。可以把状语置于句首,或用分词作状语等。试比较:
(原文) My brother and I went to the cinema by bicycle the other day.
(修正) The other day my brother and I went to the cinema by bicycle.
(原文) The young man couldn't help crying when he heard the bad news.
(修正) Hearing the bad news, the young man couldn't help crying.
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【记叙文写作训练03】
3．高考是全社会关注的大事，学校和家庭表现尤为突出。家庭成员对考生从学习到生活给予无微不至的"关怀"，结果却给考生带来负面影响。根据图画所描述的内容写一篇文章,并发表自己的观点(夹叙夹议)。词数120左右。
As the College Entrance Examination is drawing near，________________________
As the College Entrance Examination is drawing near, the situation is getting worse and worse. From the picture, we can see that Li Ming is "studying hard". There are many books for him to read and many papers for him to do. How poor he is! At the same time, all his family are also busy working for him.
Nowadays, many parents expect too much of their sons or daughters. They hope that their sons or daughters study hard in order to be admitted to an ideal college or a key university. It is for this reason that parents are strict with their children. However, they don't realize what they have become a heavy burden or a great pressure. It is the hard work or the great pressure that changes their children that much.
So I hope parents provide a proper environment for their children. Only in this way, will they try their best and succeed at last!
本文是夹叙夹议类的文章，主要反映家庭对考生的特别"关注"给他们带来负面影响。在写作过程中，对主题要审准、审清，对发展过程和结果进行叙述
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【记叙文写作训练04】
4．下列图画描述的是你的一段亲身经历，请据此为一家中学生英文报的故事专栏写一篇短文。
注意：
1. 短文必须包括图画所表现的主要内容，可以适当增减细节，使其连贯、完整；
2. 叙述必须用第一人称；
3. 词数100左右。 生词：违章者－－offender n. 十字路口－－crossroads n.
The other day my brother and I went to the cinema by bicycle. My brother was riding with me sitting on the seat behind. As we came to the crossroads a young man and a girl came up and stopped us. “We've found you at long last,” they said. But we didn't know them. Pointing to a policeman not far away, the young man explained, “He stopped us about half an hour ago and made us catch the next offender. So come on, stand here. Hope you don't have to wait as long as we did. Good luck.”
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2. 在整篇文章中,避免只使用一两个句式,要灵活运用诸如强调句、主从复合句、分词短语、倒装句、省略句等。例如:
(1)强调句
(原文) The dog has saved my little sister bravely.
(修正) It is the dog that has saved my little sister bravely.
(2)主从复合句
(原文) We had to stand there to catch the offender.
(修正) What we had to do was to stand there, trying to catch the offender.
(3)分词短语、由with或without引导的短语
(原文) The driver escaped and didn't stop, he left the old man lying on the road.
(修正) The driver escaped without stopping, leaving the old man lying on the road.
(4)倒装句
(原文) I went to bed at 11:30.
(修正) Not until 11:30 did I go to bed.
(5)省略句
(原文) While you are crossing the street, you should be careful.
(修正) While crossing the street, you should be careful.
3. 通过分句和合句,增强句子的连贯性和表现力。例如:
(原文) He stopped us an hour ago. He made us catch the next offender.
(修正) He stopped us half an hour ago and made us catch the next offender.
(原文) We had a short rest. Then we began to play happily. We sang and danced.
(修正) After a short rest, we had great fun singing and dancing.
4. 注意连接词与句子的运用。
以2001年高考作文为例,在信的开头,可加上"You want to know something about what is going on in schools in China?"这句话起承上启下的作用,使文章过渡自然;再如,用"What was worse?"引出减负前,晚上还要做作业,就寝时间11:30等要点。又如,"Now I have more free time..." 可引出减负后的情况。另外,在信的结尾,可用"How about you? I'm looking forward to hearing from you."来自然地结束这封信。
5. 使用过渡词语。
写好了每个句子,并不一定就是一篇好文章,因为作为一篇文章,还必须行文连贯。那么,如何使文章行文连贯呢?这就要求我们在组成篇章时,要用好过渡性词语,过渡性词语就像是我们组装机械时使用的润滑剂一样,起着润滑的作用。常用的过渡词语主要有:
并列递进:and, also, as well as, besides, what's more, furthermore, moreover, etc.
转折:but, yet, however, although, nevertheless, in spite of, after all, etc.
因果:because, as, for, since, for this reason, because of, so, therefore, thus, as a result, etc.
对比:or, otherwise, like, unlike, on the contrary, while, on the other hand, instead of, etc.
总结:in all, in brief, on the whole, in short, in general, in one word, etc.
总之,要使文章的层次高,可读性强,考生应增加些较高级的词汇与复杂的结构,并运用恰当的连接词和复合句,只有这样,才能在考试中取得理想的成绩。
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